Missing You - Calzona
by ctb009
Summary: The reconciliation everyone wants. Takes place after season 12 winter finale.


"So, I'll pick you up at 7?" Penny said as Callie moved toward the hospital exit after her shift had ended.

"Sounds like a plan," Callie replied with a smile.

She hoped Penny wouldn't notice the glimmer of sadness hiding beneath her radiant smile. Callie liked Penny a lot, but she felt like something was missing. Most of the time Callie felt whole when she was with Penny. She felt safe and secure and happier than she had felt in months. It had been a long time since she had given her heart to someone other than Arizona, and while she felt entirely sure that she was ready, maybe she wasn't.

It was the moment when she turned over at night, half asleep, and was shocked to see Penny's straight, red locks instead of Arizona's wavy, blonde ones. It was the moment when she went in for a kiss and pulled back slightly when the lips that met hers weren't the ones she had been expecting. It didn't happen often, but when it did it felt like her heart was being ripped from her chest. Those moments reminded her that no matter how many times she told herself she would eventually forget about Arizona, she never would. Arizona was different. She was special. Arizona brought light to the darkest moments in Callie's life. Arizona was her anchor and without her she was lost.

 _Callie remembered the moment in their therapist's office. They had just finished their month long trial separation and Arizona confessed that she needed Callie in her life. They had been through so much together, but Arizona was sure that the only way her life would be complete was if Callie was standing next to her. Callie knew she felt this way as well. She knew that Arizona was her person and she didn't want a life without her either. But when she tried to say this, the words wouldn't come out. Instead of listening to her heart, she found comfort in believing that she was better off without Arizona. She felt that being an independent woman would allow her to excel in her work and focus on her research. When she said these words aloud she knew she had made a mistake, but it was too late._

"Well don't you look lovely, Calliope," Penny said as Callie opened the passenger side door.

"Thanks," Callie said with a weak smile and Penny immediately noticed that something was wrong.

"Is everything okay? With us I mean. You've seemed off for the last couple of days and I thought maybe it was just something at work, but now I'm not sure what's going on with you."

"Penny, I'm sorry," Callie breathed. She felt the tears forming in her eyes. She didn't want to hurt Penny, but she knew it was unfair to drag her along when she was certain that their relationship wasn't going anywhere.

"I can't do this anymore. Penny, I am so sorry. I really, really like you, but…I just can't do this."

Callie opened the passenger side door and got out of the car before Penny could respond. She didn't want to see her hurt. Ever since the dinner at Meredith's, all Callie wanted to do was protect Penny, not hurt her. Callie walked inside of her apartment and collapsed onto the couch. All she could think about was Arizona. She wanted her more than ever. She wanted to feel the safety of Arizona's arms and the comfort of her warm touch.

 ***Beep, beep***

Callie looked at her pager. It was a 911 on a new patient. She pulled herself together and made her way out the door and to the hospital.

The surgery took two hours. The little boy who had been brought in earlier that day due to a broken femur had thrown a nasty clot. Callie made her way to the post-op room to check on her patient. When she arrived, Arizona was already giving the family an update on their son's condition.

"Dr. Torres was able to remove the entire clot. Matthew is going to be just fine," Arizona stated with her brilliant, super magic smile. Callie couldn't help but smile right along with her.

"Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Beck. I see that Dr. Robbins has already brought you up to date on Matthew."

Arizona smiled at Callie's presence and listened as Callie informed the parents of Matthew's prognosis.

"Since we were able remove the entire clot with no further complications, Matthew will be able to begin physical therapy within the next few days. We'll keep him here for a little while so I can make sure his leg is healing properly, but your son is doing awesome."

As both doctors left the post-op center, Arizona recognized the look of sadness on Callie's face.

"Hey," she said grabbing Callie's hand. Callie turned to face her. "What's up? You look upset," Arizona said with a frown. Callie knew that if she let herself open up to Arizona, she wouldn't be able to stop.

"Calliope, talk to me." The delicate nature of Arizona's voice made Callie's heart ache. She wanted to tell her everything. She wanted to tell her how badly she needed her, but instead she pulled her hand from Arizona's grasp and made her way to the nearest on-call room.

 _"Are you okay?" Arizona shyly asked, glancing at Callie, who had her head in her hands, sitting on the chair in front of her._

 _Callie looked up. "Uh," she sadly laughed, "I will be," she said as she wiped a single tear, "I will be."_

 _Arizona sighed, "Could we just pretend that everything between you and I is okay. Just for a little bit," she paused, "I could use that."_

 _Callie smiled half-heartedly and nodded, "Yeah." Arizona sat down beside her._

 _"I feel like everything is going wrong and I have no idea what to do about it."_

 _"I feel…" Callie laughed nervously, "Like every single thing that I am doing is wrong."_

 _Arizona sighed. Callie gently patted Arizona's leg. "You will figure it out," Callie said, clearing her throat, "You will."_

 _"You will, too," Arizona smiled at her. Callie forced a small smile, but didn't turn her head to meet Arizona's eyes. "Thanks," she said softly._

 _After a couple seconds, Arizona sighed and stood up. Before walking away she asked, "Do you, miss me? At all?" Callie glanced up at the blonde standing in front of her. "Of course," she replied sadly._

 _"Just, not enough," Arizona replied although no question had been asked._

 _Callie's eyes were full of sadness and she wanted to say more, but she couldn't. Arizona frowned slightly before turning and walking away._

"Callie."

The voice brought Callie back to reality. Arizona slowly walked towards the on-call bed that Callie was sitting on. She searched Callie's eyes for confirmation that sitting down next to her wouldn't be overstepping their boundaries. She saw the calmness wash over Callie's face as she sat beside her and grabbed her hand. She knew that feeling. She had felt that same wave of peace when Callie had found her during Herman's operation.

"I'm here, Callie. Whatever it is. I'm here. I know we aren't together, but it doesn't mean that I don't love you." Arizona tried to keep her voice steady, but the feelings of sadness she felt every time she saw Callie with another woman or remembered that she no longer had her soul mate were overflowing within her.

Callie weakly glanced at Arizona before saying, "Penny and I broke up."

Arizona was shocked. She thought that things were going well between the two of them. She even kind of liked Penny, in a weird way, that may have only been because she had been drunk the first time the two of them had met.

"I ended things."

"What-," but before Arizona could ask, Callie reached for her face and pulled her into a deep kiss. Arizona wanted to pull away out of confusion, but once she felt the certainty in Callie's movements, she let her wife kiss her for the first time in forever.

Callie didn't know why she did it, but she knew it felt right. It felt right in the way her hands found that familiar spot on Arizona's cheeks and the way that Arizona leaned further into her. It was the kiss she had been missing. No one kissed her like Arizona did.

Callie gently pulled away from the kiss and looked into Arizona's eyes, just like she had many, many times before.

"I miss you," Callie smiled. "I miss you… _enough_."


End file.
